I wanna bring you to show and tell
I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Randomize