11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
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There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
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Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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