Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
Randomize
