I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
