He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
Randomize
