im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
someone get that fucking seahorse.
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
i think im in europe. pls send help
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
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