Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Randomize