On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
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