I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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