dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
Randomize
