It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
