Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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