all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
Sext me about skeletons
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
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