hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
Randomize
