we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Randomize
