So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS