Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
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