dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
