Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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