My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
The air was thick with penises
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
Your penis caused this!
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