I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
Randomize