im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
