Hey man sorry I got all grabby
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
