you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
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