True but thats because hes a fetus.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
Randomize
