He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
im about as happy as oj after his trial
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
This is my gift to your gina
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
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