Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
Randomize
