somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
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They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
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