Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
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You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
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