You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Randomize
