I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Randomize
