After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
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