Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
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