Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
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