we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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