Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
