please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
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