the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
Randomize
