I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Randomize
