My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Randomize
