Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
literally had 100 drinks last night.
I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
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what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
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I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
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