no, he came in my armpit
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Randomize
