i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
