What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
Randomize