a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
