sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Randomize
