We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
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