i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
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