Sry I called you an 8
I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
Randomize
