I accidentally burped into my bong.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
