A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
19 Characteristics That Make People Instantly Attractive
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
25 People Confess What They’re Shamefully Attracted To
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.