even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
These 19 Guys Hit The Cougar Jackpot
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
35 Disappointing People Who Failed At Sexting
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.