One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
you never un-have a 4some
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize
