I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize
