Betty ford says i'm here all night
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize