Im at strip club and am horny
I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The best revenge is premature balding
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
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