I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
