Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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