jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
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