That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
